The shame and the guilt
There is a shame that we can name as healthy and another that is not so healthy.
Healthy shame supports growth, “I” formation, and intimacy. We can see shame as a "guardian" in the face of our own privacy and intimacy limitations as an internal knowledge about what is or is not appropriate.
But the shame and guilt that result from trauma are often perceived as overwhelming and tormenting feelings that can build a negative belief system and doctrine. At an extreme, the impact of early developmental trauma and shock trauma can drive a person into a state of internal misery.
The dynamics that are created around guilt and shame are reactions to the lack of support and relational attunement on the part of parents.
The loss that is triggered as a result of this lack of support and attunement, has an impact on the nervous system, resulting in a distorted identification that causes a state of dysregulation.
Shame operates from the background and its dynamics prevent self-regulation.
From these attachment dynamics, the child develops adaptive behavior instead of manifesting his authentic self to his parents.
Understanding shame as a working mechanism, shame acts as a trigger, It consumes and mobilizes, but does not lead to an acceptable resolution.